Affe #193

About Affe mit Waffe Deprecated

Antonio Tarsivari just couldn't take it anymore. He usually got along well with his neighbors and attached great importance to friendly relationships, but the monkey on the tree next to him was practicing again. Back then his neighbor had proudly shown him the newly acquired object: It was a stringed instrument whose sound box consisted of a halved coconut shell covered with a membrane of stretched hide. A neck of bamboo was attached, carrying four peg-tuned strings of hair, strung over a bridge and it came with a bow longer than an arm. It was a very odd object to look at and if one would judge the sound when he drew the bow across the strings – well, to put it politely, one would say that tastes differ. But not wanting to disappoint his neighbor's enthusiasm, he promised to stop by occasionally to assess his progress. A mistake that Antonio soon deeply regretted.

At first, he thought that the euphoria for the strange hobby would wear off over time, but that wasn't the case: Not only did his neighbor practice almost every day, his practice time also increased. Maybe it just seemed so to Antonio as the squeaking was getting on his nerves more and more. In fact, he didn't even have to stop by to gauge his neighbor's progress – none at all, in his opinion – because the noises could be heard loud and clear all the way to his tree. However, when he was invited to a "concert" a week ago, he couldn't avoid it. Sighing and for the sake of good neighborly relations, he tied a gift ribbon around a bunch of bananas and went to the social evening in the next tree. It was awful – and judging by the expressions on the faces of the other primates present, everyone agreed. Only one elderly orangutan applauded enthusiastically, but Antonio recognized the distinguished ape and knew he had deliberately left his hearing aids at home. With a touch of admiration, Antonio kept in mind that wisdom came with age. After a few embarrassing words of praise all the monkeys hurried away, only nodding politely as the musician promised to repeat such an evening soon given the great response it had found in the neighborhood.

In any case, his neighbor practiced again and apparently with much more diligence than before. Something had to be done. Last week there was a crisis meeting in the neighborhood: The first families moved away because their apelings were suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome and could no longer sleep. Real estate prices plummeted, and the first monkeys began to lose fur due to the noise pollution. Antonio had an idea: Maybe the whole problem was with the instrument. He was pretty sure no primate could get a decent sound out of half a coconut shell and a piece of bamboo. So, he made the decision to help all the monkeys in the area, the musician and above all himself: He would invent a new instrument.

First, he constructed a hollow wooden body with a top, ribs for the side and a back. In the soundboard on the top, he cut out two sound holes in the shape of a stylized letter "f", which allowed the box to breathe when vibrating. He then added a neck, fingerboard, bridge, soundpost, and various fittings such as tuning pegs, tailpiece, and tailpiece. The instrument was built to hold four strings. The body had an hourglass-like shape that made room for the bow – a tensioned stick which had horse-tail hair affixed to it. Antonio plucked the strings and the instrument responded with a clean tone in a deep vibration. He carefully stroked the strings with the bow, here too clear melodic tones emerged. This should finally solve the problem in the neighborhood. The next day he brought the improved instrument to the amateur musician. With a few words of praise from Antonio, his neighbor was delighted and willingly swapped the coconut-bamboo construction for the new invention. Then he started practicing again.

Two weeks later, Antonio sat with the other monkeys at another concert. Inwardly he apologized to the item he had taken from his neighbor. It wasn't the instrument's fault. Now he was sure that his neighbor was absolute tone-deaf. You had to give him talent as he couldn't even hit a single note. With his ears tormented, Antonio Tarsivari next set out to invent a simple hand percussion instrument – like the triangle.

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