Affe #197

About Affe mit Waffe Deprecated

Willie Monconi was a world-class athlete. This did not contradict his life motto: Safety first. That was why he competed in one of the safest sports in the world, only chess and fishing being less dangerous – although some fishing trips on the high seas posed some risks for a primate. He was a professional pool player and had won the Monkeyverse Straight Coco Pool Championship nineteen times. His name was essentially synonymous with pool, and he was nicknamed "Mr. Pocket Billiards". In this sport, there was nothing to fall off, no one trying to hit or attack you and none of that ridiculous running and jumping malarkey. In fact, Willie only worked up a sweat when he ended up getting into a heated match and stressing about winning. It was perfect for him. It was a sport for the discerning monkey, and since it was played indoors rather than out on the grass like in the early days, he no longer had to worry about catching a cold in the wind.

The young Willie had been a prodigy since he was a little apeling and his father quickly realized that he should nurture his son's talent. It also offered the growing family a good income of banana coins. In the first challenge matches, Willie had to stand on a box to reach the table while beating veteran players many years his senior. At the age of six, he played against the reigning Straight Coco Pool world champion. Although he ended up losing the match, everyone was impressed by the little apeling holding a cue stick three times the size. This event attracted wide attention and launched his professional career. Compared to apes, for example, he had another advantage – his prehensile tail, which he knew how to use skillfully. He could use it to support himself, dangle from the lamp over the pool table, or even maneuver the cue. With the word "cue" deriving from the French "queue" for tail, Willie found this an obvious choice and knew from the start that he had to seize every opportunity that presented itself. His outstanding skills made him and the sport famous. In addition to his ability to run racks or pocket balls, he could routinely use numerous trick shots and perform acrobatic feats such as executing his moves upside down or with his feet. But his most unique ability to amaze the audience was being able to hold fifteen billiard balls at once with one hand. How he managed to do that remained a mystery to the end.

Surprisingly, Willie's most famous match wasn't a Monkeyverse Championship, but rather a 200-point race against an amateur player. In a Straight Coco Pool game, the player called and attempted to sink any object ball on the table, regardless of its number or color. In pool, there were fifteen colored object balls made of pressed coconut shells with seven "solid", seven "striped", and the black 8-ball. Points were earned for every ball potted. Eventually, when only one object ball and the cue ball remained, the other fourteen balls were re-racked, and a new rack began. The player who potted the last ball played the next break – the first shot that separated the balls. The aim was to achieve a previously determined score – in this case 200. His opponent scored the first three points in the match, but then Willie ran the next 200 points to win. However, he continued the run for over two hours, scoring 526 points before missing a fine cut shot, a shot that had more than a slight degree of angle. The run was witnessed by 300 primates, including a monkey lawyer who later produced an affidavit to confirm it had taken place.

Willie set a new record – and ended his career at the same time. The reason was simple, the game had been so addicting that he decided that this excitement was not good for his long-term health. But he did not remain idle: He built the largest pool hall in the Monkeyverse – "The Recreation". It was a massive seven-story spa with 103 tables, 88 bowling lanes, 20 barber chairs, three manicure stands, 14 cigar stands, a banana lunch counter on each floor, a 300-seat restaurant, and an exhibition space with theater seating that could accommodate 250 monkey spectators. Even after that, Willie Monconi remained very down-to-earth. He never hustled an opponent as he was able to win honestly, always saying "I play everyone straight."

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