Affe #208

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Wade Mandrillo had to admit he never expected it to escalate like this. At first, he just wanted to make medicine easier to swallow, since his apelings kept choking on it when they had a sore throat. He never intended to plunge the monkey society into this culinary hell.

It all started when he added granulated gelatin to cough syrup to get it into a solid cube shape as a jelly. But since his family liked the consistency of the result, Wade started making these as snacks and desserts as well. Gradually, he produced banana, coconut, strawberry, orange, and lemon flavors. Pineapple was difficult because an enzyme prevented the gelatin from solidifying. He mixed the juice with water, lots of sugar and gelatin and refrigerated it in elaborated molds for hours. Soon his desserts were famous among all the monkeys in the area, and everyone was urging him to sell "Mandrill-O," as his wife called the creations, professionally. The success was resounding and not long after Mandrill-O was titled "Monkeyverse's Most Famous Dessert" and could be found in almost every household. It might also have been because Wade's company sent out armies of sales monkeys to hand out free Mandrill-O cookbooks, a groundbreaking marketing tactic. Also, the slogan "There's always room for Mandrill-O!" advertised the product as a "light dessert" that could be easily consumed even after a heavy meal. However, this was only partially true: Gelatin without the fruit flavoring was a translucent, tasteless mass, and it took a lot to change that. To achieve a delicious dessert, it needed 88 percent sugar to become palatable, removing it as far as possible from the realm of healthy and "light" food. But public opinion was everything, and the monkeys loved the jiggly stuff. One primate even claimed that he put himself on a severely restricted diet of nothing but Mandrill-O for months to reduce his overweight – and emerged 70 pounds lighter. While it was true that the jelly was fat-free and depending on the preparation could also be sugar-free, it was also free of, well, any nutritional value whatsoever. Wade certainly couldn't recommend this diet at home.

In retrospect, that was probably the time when everything got out of hand and took strange paths. Typically, the gelatin was dissolved in hot water, then cooled, and allowed to solidify. Fruit and whipped cream were added, and the mixture refrigerated – but who came up with the idea of using celery this way, Wade wondered in hindsight. To his horror, a new trend soon took off – Mandrill-O salad. It was made with flavored gelatin, fruit, and sometimes grated carrots or other ingredients, which could include a wide variety of vegetables, cottage or cream cheese, marshmallows, nuts, or pretzels. Despite the strange compositions, it was very popular. Young monkey mothers were always short on time and Mandrill-O was just perfect for them as an easy-to-prepare ready-to-eat food. Recipes such as tomato soup gelatin salad, a salad, served chilled made from lemon gelatin, tomato soup, cream cheese, stuffed olives combined with various other ingredients, and seasonings were widespread. Other ingredients included cabbage, green peppers, and even cooked pasta. Wade had long blamed himself for the fact that a generation of little apelings had to eat cold noodle jelly for lunch. But this should not be the end of Mandrill-O – more was yet to come.

As always, one of the monkeys had the brilliant idea that Mandrill-O could be used to solidify alcoholic beverages to make them easier to handle when transporting them through the treetops. The alcohol was added after the gelatin had dissolved by boiling and the resulting mixture was dubbed the "Mandrill-O shot". Due to the solid state of the shots, the alcohol was absorbed more slowly, causing monkeys to underestimate how much they had consumed. Mandrill-O shots were also very often associated with Mandrill-O wrestling – another development Wade was ashamed of. It was a hilarious social sport involving monkeys wrestling in a pool of jelly. It ensured messy action as competitors slipped and slid around trying to grab their opponent.

The final turning point, however, came when cinemas discovered Mandrill-O. The blockbuster "The Ten Primate Commandments" featured Marmoses parting a Red Sea of Mandrill-O. That was enough for Wade. He eventually sold his company and decided to only serve hot food from now on.

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